The People of Christmas, Part 1

Concerning this salvation, the prophets, who spoke of the grace that was to come to you, searched intently and with the greatest care, trying to find out the time and circumstances to which the Spirit of Christ in them was pointing when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the glories that would follow. It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves but you, when they spoke of the things that have now been told you by those who have preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Even angels long to look into these things. (1 Peter 1:10-12)

(As a departure from the traditional Advent themes of Hope, Peace, Joy and Love, several years ago I did an Advent devotional series on the People of Christmas - The Prophets, Mary, Joseph, and the Shepherds. I will be sharing these devotions over these four Sundays leading up to Christmas.)

The Prophets

The first people of the Christmas story are the prophets, who foretold of the coming of Christ centuries before He actually appeared. These prophets waited patiently for God to fulfill His promise to send a Messiah, the one who would deliver God’s people from all that oppressed them.

None of these prophets ever lived to see the advent of Jesus. But that didn’t stop them from looking forward to the day that He would come, knowing that even if it happened after they were gone, it would still be for the benefit of future generations.

We, too, should learn to wait patiently for God to fulfill His promise to us: that one day, whether in our lifetime or afterward, He will send Jesus back to take us home to Heaven, where we will spend eternity with Him. Let us never lose sight of that promise as we labor here on Earth.

Prayer:

God of our past, our present, and our future, we thank you that you have promised to come back for us, so that we can live in expectant anticipation of the day when we will be with you for all eternity. Amen.

Have a blessed week!

Pastor David

Good Night, Uncle Bob

"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!' " (Matthew 25:21)

Uncle Bob died on Wednesday.

Uncle Bob was the last of my mother's siblings to pass away. He was in his 90s and had lived a long and satisfying life. I hadn't seen him in many years, and don't know much about what his life was like in his twilight. But I know his character, and so I was not surprised that he slipped out of this world the same way that he lived in it - peacefully. He passed quietly in the hospital with his wife by his side. No lingering illness, no need for heroic efforts to save his life. He said he wasn't feeling well and wanted to go to the hospital. Once there, his blood pressure starting dropping rapidly, and within a few hours he was gone.

Uncle Bob was one of the most humble, unassuming men I have ever known. I don't recall ever seeing him angry or raising his voice. He served faithfully as an ordained minister in my parent's church for decades, gently expounding on the scriptures as best as he knew how, almost apologetically, not being a trained seminarian. Ironically, he was a carpenter. All of the ministers in that denomination are volunteers who support themselves in the secular workplace, and he was no exception. But he was an amazing master carpenter, one whom I looked up to and aspired to emulate in my own hobby as a handyman (I have never even come close to doing work as meticulously and nearly perfect as he did).

But this post isn't really about Uncle Bob. It's really about me. And it's about people like me, those of us "baby boomers" who are now entering our 50s and 60s. Our aunts and uncles, mothers and fathers, even older cousins, are all starting to die off. Since my mother was born late in life (her mother was in her early 40s), her siblings were all considerably older than she; thus I expected that I would be experiencing these losses earlier than most of my counterparts. However, her family has a notoriously long life span, so most of my aunts and uncles made it into their 90s. Dad's side of the family isn't quite so well-preserved. As far as I can tell, I still have one aunt (Dad's sister) and uncle (her husband) on his side of the family (pushing their 80s, I think). And I have one aunt and uncle (the surviving spouses of two of Mom's siblings) on her side of the family (well into their 90s). I wish I could be more specific, but not having the most close-knit family, sometimes I don't even find out about a relative's death until long after their passing. And it feels weird to ask Dad if so-and-so is still alive (Mom wouldn't know, since she lives in her own little world of dementia and moves fluidly between 7 and 79). So I just assume they're still kicking until I hear otherwise.

But I digress. How does my generation deal with the passing of the former generation? How does any generation do this gracefully? I think now, more than ever, it's almost a surreal experience since we have become such a mobile society (how many people do you know who still live in the town where they were raised?). Unless you're one of those lucky ones who has a tight-knit extended family, where these deaths have a very real impact on your life, the death of a relative thousands of miles away just doesn't seem to register the same. As I mentioned earlier, I hadn't seen Uncle Bob for many years. In fact, I haven't seen and of my relatives outside of immediate family, for I don't know how long. Being geographically isolated from extended family (they're all still in Oregon) makes staying in touch difficult, not to mention that these people haven't been a part of my life for over 30 years. So I don't find myself grieving their deaths as much as I find myself grieving the psychological void they leave behind. I lost my last grandparent in the early 90s, so my identity as a grandchild is little more than a faded memory. And now I am quickly losing my identity as a nephew. This is the second death this year; Aunt Elva, my mother's oldest sister, passed away several months ago.

I have seen elderly characters in TV shows and movies who talk about the fact that all of their friends and relatives are dead. I don't want to be like that when I'm in my 70s, 80s, or 90s. I can't do anything about my relatives and family members preceding me in death. But I can surround myself with friends who are younger than myself, whom I can count on to be there for me as I get older. I choose to invest myself in young people, not only to leave a legacy, but to enjoy their enthusiasm for life and to share in their adventures, if even only vicariously. I always wanted to raise children, but that never happened. As it stands, my dogs are the sole heirs to my estate (not that I'm planning on going anywhere anytime soon). So I want the assurance of knowing that, as I enter into my senior years down the road, I've built up a "family" of loved ones who will hopefully outlast me. I don't know if I will have a devoted spouse by my side, holding my hand as I take my final breath (God, I hope so), but I know that I will have at least one dear friend sitting there, someone who has been with me through the good times and the bad, and who will allow me to slip quietly into my reward.

No one wants to die alone - death is a scary thing. It's the one thing in life most of us don't get to practice. We only get one shot at it, and it can be very frightening to leave this familiar world. I won't go into my theology of the afterlife - I'll save that for another time. But we don't have to face our twilight alone. If you don't have a spouse, or children nearby, I encourage you to invest yourself into young(er) people who can become your extended family. You will never regret it.

Good night, Uncle Bob. Rest in peace. You earned it.

Have a blessed week!

Pastor David

Forgiven But Not Forgotten

"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." (1 Peter 3:8)

I received an email this week from someone who did me a great deal of harm a couple of years ago. It took me by surprise because I was fairly certain that I would no longer need to deal with this individual. Not only had I forgiven him because I needed to for my own healing and well-being, but I had also blessed him in the process beyond what most any reasonably sane person would have done (this the passage quoted above). As far as I was concerned, our paths were permanently set on a parallel course with a very wide chasm between us, and I would be free to move on with my life without any further involvement with him.

And then the email arrived. The subject line simply said, "Amends". In his message, he indicated that he has been in a 12-step recovery program and has achieved nearly a year of sobriety. He felt that his alcoholism was at the root of the inexcusable abuse that he perpetrated against me. He also indicated that one of the steps to recovery is to seek out those one has wronged while in their addiction, and to make amends whenever possible. He felt that I was at the top of his list and wanted to know if there is anything that he could do or say that would make amends for what he had done.

While I can respect the seeming sincerity of his attempt to right his wrongs, I am also quite familiar with the guiding principles of 12-step groups. The other part of the "amends" step that he seemed to overlook is "except when to do so would injure them or others." The mere fact that I once again had to confront the incredible deceptions, abuse and betrayal that characterized this person's involvement in my life was painful. It opened a wound that I thought had completely healed over. The fact is, there is nothing that he could do or say that could even remotely make amends for what he did. And I'm not sure that I would want him to try, for doing so would require him to once again become a part of my life, however remotely removed and superficial that might be. And I'm not willing to take that risk.

On the other hand, I still don't see a true repentance on his part, or an acknowledgment that the alcoholism was nothing more than a symptom of a much deeper character defect. Alcohol did not make this person do unspeakably dark and malicious things to a fellow brother in Christ. It simply helped numb the guilt that he must have felt as he carried out his elaborate charade. To blame the alcohol is to take no personal responsibility for his actions, or to attempt to uncover the deeply hidden spiritual or psychological roots of his sociopathic behaviors (he was textbook on-spot). This in no way should be interpreted as a dismissal of recovery programs, for I feel that they definitely have value for many people. But I have spent many years working with some very hard-core addicts, and I know that most of them require professional help to deal with the causes of their addictions. Dealing with the addiction in a vacuum is like placing a band-aid on a cancerous tumor.

Obviously, I need to decide how I am going to respond to this request. In my flesh, I could easily reply with a rather vulgar two-word response, but I'm pretty sure that's not the right way to honor the Lord. I could ignore him and not reply at all, but perhaps that would leave the situation open for future attempts at contacting me, which I would rather not have to deal with. Or I could write a very simple response that acknowledges his effort, but makes it quite clear that there is nothing that he can do or say that will ever correct the wrongs that he did to me, and that the best thing he can do for me is to avoid all further contact with me.

As I weighed these options, I wanted to find some principle in Scripture that would apply to this situation. I'm beyond the forgiveness stage, so that's not the issue. Jesus told us to "turn the other cheek," but I'm fresh out of cheeks. And then I remembered this statement from Paul in 2 Timothy 4:14-15:

"Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will repay him for what he has done. You too should be on your guard against him, because he strongly opposed our message."

In these three sentences, there are a three principles that I feel apply to my situation. First, Paul may have forgiven Alexander, but he wasn't willing to forget the harm he did. In fact, nowhere in Scripture can I recall it saying that forgiveness equals forgetfulness. Sometimes we need to remember a grave offense so we can protect ourselves from allowing the offender to repeat their actions. Even the part of 1 Corinthians 13:5 that says that love "keeps no record of wrongs" is probably meant more as a defense against dredging up the past and beating someone over the head with it, than to blindly forget how much a person has hurt you, and thus allowing them to continue to inflict harm. We're called to forgive, not be door mats.

The second principle is that God will ultimately settle accounts with those who seem to "get away with murder." His justice is perfect, and He really doesn't need us to help Him out in that regard. After all, we each need to answer for the stuff that we got away with during our lifetimes as well. Remembering this principle makes forgiveness so much easier. In reality, forgiveness is the act of relinquishing our right to exact punishment on the other person. Let God do it - He's better at it.

Finally, Paul's exhortation to Timothy to be on guard against Alexander tells me that it wasn't acceptable to shun the metalworker or avoid him at all cost. Apparently, Timothy and Alexander were in close enough proximity that their paths would occasionally cross. As Christians, we should be willing and able to extend graciousness to even our enemies, without taking them into our bosoms. I think a lot of God's people don't seem to grasp this concept. If I don't agree with you or like what you do or believe, then I can't have anything to do with you (I grew up in a church that firmly espoused this position). Jesus rubbed shoulders with thieves and prostitutes, but He didn't become one.

I suppose writing tonight's blog has been my way of working through this situation. I apologize if it seems a bit self-serving, but I'm hoping that maybe some of these thoughts may help you one of these days if you find yourself in a similar situation. As for my response to the email, I suppose it will be something along the line of the third option. But not right away. I think I'll let him sweat it out for a few days.

Have a safe and happy Labor Day, and a blessed week!

Pastor David

Honoring Our Parents

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." (Exodus 20:12)

I recently spent a few days in Oregon visiting my elderly parents. This annual trek always come with a mixed bag of emotions. I did not have a particularly happy childhood growing up in a very dysfunctional family. My parents were ill-equipped to raise five sons, and made a lot of mistakes along the way. My brothers and I carry the emotional scars that bear witness to this fact. For years, it was incredibly difficult to live out the Fifth Commandment to honor my parents. Selecting appropriate greeting cards on Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthdays, anniversaries, and other holidays was always emotionally challenging. Hallmark doesn't make cards that say, "Thanks for screwing up my childhood. Have a nice day!"

It may sound like a cliche, but my parents got wiser as they aged, and they finally acknowledged that they didn't do such a great job at raising us. But they also claim that they did the best that they could. I accept that, and have moved on, putting the pain of the past behind me.

As they have aged and fallen into poor health, I have started to look upon my parents with pity more than anything else. Regardless of how you feel about your parents, if you have any level of  compassion or empathy, you will find it difficult to watch them decline in their physical and mental capacities. My mother is confined to a nursing home with dementia, where she will spend the rest of her life. My father is on his second pacemaker, and is barely able to care for himself. He lives in solitude at home, after having spent 57 years living with his mate. He visits mom every weekday for a few hours, which takes all of his energy. Being blind in one eye and having limited vision in his other, he shouldn't even be driving to see her, but it's the last vestige of freedom that he has. I figure his guardian angels work overtime every time he makes that trip to see mom.

I used to think that the commandment to "honor your father and mother" meant that we had to act as if they were wonderful people and we could only think good things about them in order to honor them. I no longer hold this opinion. Now, I see honoring my parents as accepting them as they are, flaws and all, as children of God and as the people who brought me into this world. I honor them by giving them a few days of my life once a year (it would be more often if I didn't live so far away). I honor them by not speaking evil of them or wishing ill on them. They have enough of their own demons to battle - I don't need to add my own. I also honor them by not bringing up their past mistakes - there is nothing to be gained by doing so.

Much of what my parents are going through now is self-inflicted. My parents were never very keen on taking care of their physical health. They shunned doctors and preventive health care. Mother never took an interest in activities that would help keep her mind sharp. They both struggled with weight issues, but never watched what they ate or got proper exercise. Now they are restricted to diets they do not enjoy. They take multiple medications to keep they alive. Mom is confined to a wheelchair and can't remember what day it is, or how long she has been at the nursing home. She is trapped in a virtual "Groundhog Day" where every day is a repeat of the one before, and there is no passage of time. She knows that she isn't at home, but she doesn't know where home is.

I have learned a lot from watching what my parents are going through. I learned how important it is to take care of myself, physically and mentally. I have learned the value of maintaining a good diet, watching my weight, and getting plenty of exercise. Perhaps part of honoring them includes taking better care of myself so I can enjoy my senior years when they come.

Parent/child dynamics are complex at best, so I'm not going to sit here and tell you how you should honor your parents, whether living or not. But Ephesians 6:2 reminds us that this is the first commandment with a promise, that we will enjoy long life when we honor our parents. And frankly, life is too short to carry grudges about things over which we have no control. If you experienced pain or abuse as a child, know this: you did not cause that to happen, nor did you have any control over it. The only thing you have control over as an adult is how you will respond to that pain. Let it go. Find a way to honor your parents that works for you. And leave the rest to God.

Have a blessed week!
 
Pastor David

Holy Transformers, Jesus!

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:1-2)

As much as I hate to admit it, the older I get, the less I enjoy or embrace change in my life. However, change is something we all deal with, sometimes on a daily basis. Whether we like change or not, it is going to happen. In fact, one of the primary doctrines of Christianity is based on change.

When we are born again, we are changed into new beings. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us: 

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

This is called “regeneration” or being born again. Sometimes this change occurs slowly, and at other times, it happens very quickly. The changes we experience as new creations take place in the spiritual, emotional, and even physical aspects of our lives. For example, I suffered from chronic ulcers when I was in college. As soon as I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior, I was spontaneously healed from my ulcers, even though I didn't specifically ask to be healed of them. God is just that good.

The changes that take place during our conversion experience aren’t a one-time event either – they continue to occur throughout our lives as we are transformed into the likeness of Christ. I honestly believe that we would explode if we were to experience in an instant all of the changes God wants to perform in our lives!

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." (2 Corinthians 3:18)

The Greek word translated as "transformed" in both of these passages comes from the word metamorphosis, which means:

• A profound change in form from one stage to the next in the life history of an organism, such as a caterpillar to a butterfly
• A complete change of form, structure, or substance
• Any complete change in appearance, character, circumstances, etc.

While the process of transformation in our lives is inevitable, it isn’t always easy or without great struggle. Face it – we like various aspects of our old nature and like to keep the old person around to party with. However, we don’t get to decide when and how God will change us, resist as we may. The more we struggle, the harder the change, and the greater the pain. Today I want to look at the concept of allowing God to change us into the people He wants us to be.

The Potter and the Clay

The prophets Jeremiah and Isaiah both including object lessons about potters and clay in their writings.

"This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD: 'Go down to the potter's house, and there I will give you my message.' So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him." (Jeremiah 18:1-4)

There are several important lessons to be learned from these few verses:

1. The clay did not choose to jump up on the potter’s wheel – the potter chose the clay and positioned it where he wanted it, in the center of the wheel. Likewise, we did not choose God – He chose us and placed us in the center of His will where He could mold us and shape us into the vessels He wants us to be. The problem is, we keep drifting away from the center of God’s will, and then we get wobbly and out of balance

2. When the potter realized that that the pot was marred, he changed the form of the pot into something else, shaping it as seemed best to him. Sometimes we have character defects that prevent us from being effective in certain areas of our Christian walk. Perhaps these defects make us incapable of serving in a certain ministry. Sometimes God can remove these defects, and sometimes He simply chooses to use us in a different way than we think we should be used.

3. The key point is this – God gets to choose what shape He wants to form us into. We get no say in the matter. Perhaps we really want to be something specific, like a pastor or a missionary or an evangelist. If that isn’t what God wants to use us for, we have two choices: Rebel and make our lives miserable from the struggle that will ensue (God wins, we lose), or Submit and allow God to use us for His glory (God wins, we win).

"You turn things upside down, as if the potter were thought to be like the clay! Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'He did not make me'? Can the pot say of the potter, 'He knows nothing'?" (Isaiah 29:16)

"Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker, to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, 'What are you making?' Does your work say, 'He has no hands'?" (Isaiah 45:9)

In these two passages from Isaiah, we find examples of the created being questioning the Creator:

• How often do we think that God doesn’t know what He is doing?
• How often do we blame God when things don’t go our way?
• How often do we accuse God of not being fair because He doesn’t treat us the same way as those around us?
• How often do we try to tell God how to do His job?

Romans 9:20-21 paraphrases these earlier passages:

"But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? 'Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, "Why did you make me like this?" ' Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?"

We play a dangerous game that we cannot win when we go toe to toe with our Creator. God knows us better than we know ourselves, and knows best what we are capable of doing. Who are we to question what God is trying to do in our lives? Fortunately, God is a Gentleman, and because He is, He won’t force us to do anything or change any aspect of our character. After all, He gave us free will, so we have the right to resist Him if we want to. However, God will make us so miserable that we will wish we had submitted to His will. The best course of action is for us to willingly submit to the transforming work that God wants to do in our lives.

None of us has arrived when it comes to spiritual transformation. We all have room for improvement. Perhaps you’re dealing with a particular area that you want God to change, but you can’t seem to let it go. Perhaps God has been prompting you to allow Him to make a change that you really don’t want to make.

Each of us is in a state of transformation, becoming the vessel that God wants us to be. Change can only take place if we are willing to allow it. My prayer for each one of us is that we become transformed into the glorious creatures that God designed us to be. In Romans 12:2, we are told that transformation starts by renewing our minds. This means that we need to correct our thinking about allowing God to take over every part of our lives. If you are struggling with making changes in our life, you are not alone. I invite you to spend some time seeking God’s will and submitting yourself to the gentle touch of the Master Potter.

Have a blessed week!

Pastor David

A Travesty of Justice?

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities."
Psalm 103:8-10

Late last night, it was announced that the jury for the George Zimmerman trial had reached a verdict. They determined that Zimmerman was not guilty of murdering Trayvon Martin. Public outrage was almost immediate. In the court of public opinion, Zimmerman was declared guilty of killing an unarmed youth in a classic racial profiling case. In the court of law, the jury could not reach that same decision based on the case that was presented to them.

Obviously, I was not there on the day Zimmerman shot Martin. Nor was I there in the courtroom listening to all of the evidence and arguments that were presented. And I wasn't in the jury room, privy to the deliberations that led to an acquittal. But I do know three things: George Zimmerman shot and killed Trayvon Martin (that was never disputed); Trayvon Martin is dead, and would remain so regardless of the verdict; and George Zimmerman is free to live out his life. While I believe that an orderly society is predicated upon the ability to hold people accountable for their actions, I also believe that sometimes society has an awkwardly twisted concept of "justice".

Our collective idea of justice says that a victim is vindicated when the criminal is punished for the crime that was committed. And to some extent that is true. However, when the victim's life has been ended because of that crime, they can receive no real justice. What punishment could possibly be handed down to the murderer that would restore the deceased life to them? How can society give back to the victim the years that they missed out on by having their life cut short? In many ways, our idea of "justice" is more about vengeance than making things right.

As I was pondering this particular case, the above passage from Psalm 103 came to mind. This is one of my favorite psalms because it is filled with so many wonderful promises of God's goodness to his people. One of these promises is that "he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities." In other words, we don't get what's coming to us for all the sins we've committed and the mistakes we've made. Sure, we often have to endure the natural consequences of our actions, but God decided along time ago that we couldn't possibly make right all of the offenses that we've committed (and continue to commit). So he chose to balance out his perfect justice with absolute mercy.

I wonder how many of those people rallying for "justice" and demanding that Zimmerman pay for his "crime" are willing to be held 100% accountable for everything they've ever done wrong. We all get away with stuff sooner or later. At this point in time, it appears that Zimmerman got away with killing a kid armed with Skittles and wearing a hoodie. The truth is, the day will come when true Justice will be served, and Zimmerman will have to give an account for what he did:

"For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad." (2 Corinthians 5:10)

Until then, however, it would seem to me that a better use of the energy and resources being used to rally against this verdict would be to work toward creating a better society where people are not profiled for the way they dress or the color of their skin. It has become painfully obvious in recent times that racism is still alive and well in American society, nearly 50 years after the Civil Rights Act was passed. We have a lot of work ahead of us if we want to see a day where the "George Zimmermans" of this world no longer exist.

Until then, pray for Martin's family to find peace and closure, and for calm and reason among those who disagree with the outcome of this case.

Have a blessed week!

Pastor David

Watch Your Mouth!

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."
Proverbs 18:21

One of the most memorable and oft-quoted lines from Disney's classic film Bambi is, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

It would seem that celebrity chef Paula Deen has learned this lesson the hard way recently. Over the past week, like a row of dominoes, nearly all of her corporate partners canceled their contracts with her, costing her millions of dollars in lost revenue. Almost overnight she has become public relations poison for brands that once embraced her southern charm and buttery cooking.

The cause of this firestorm was the revelation that Paula is being sued by one of her employees for fostering a hostile atmosphere of racial and sexual harassment. At the center of this scandal is the allegation that Paula uses the "N" word. She claims it was something she used to say "in the past" but doesn't really use it any more. I'm not convinced that is about something she said decades ago (what white southerner from her generation didn't have the "N" word in their vocabulary at one time?). The fact that she is being accused of this, and more, by a current white employee on behalf of her fellow workers tells me that Ms. Deen hasn't exactly corrected her vocabulary to ensure that her employees have her respect regardless of the color of their skin. In fact, according to the claims in the lawsuit, Paul and her brother have quite am interesting vocabulary when it comes to interacting with African-Americans. Click here for more details.

I suppose in due time we will learn the truth as this case winds its way through the courts. I don't want to put myself in the position of judging her just yet, but I think we can learn a valuable lesson from her situation.

The quote from Proverbs above is a favorite of mine. As one whose mouth regularly gets him into trouble, I need all the reminders I can get about how important our words are. Words can heal or destroy, lift up or tear down, literally give live or inflict death. A word spoken can never be retrieved. It doesn't matter how much you may apologize or cry tears of remorse, the damage of a carelessly spoken word can never be totally undone. The offended party may forgive you, but your words will always leave a scar on their heart or in their spirit.

In this day and age where we seem to have more conversations online than face-to-face, I think people tend to be more careless about what they say and how they say it when they don't have to look the other person in the eye. And because we can't always detect the person's reaction to what we've said, we may not even realize how hurtful our words may have been.

Just because something pops into your head doesn't mean it's worth saying. Even the truth doesn't always need to be verbalized if you know that speaking it is going to do more harm than good. If you find yourself wanting to say something that isn't specifically uplifting or encouraging, stop for a moment and ask yourself a few questions:

• What is my motivation for saying this - am I trying to help the person, or am I trying to make myself feel better or more superior?
• Is this something that needs to be said, or am I just trying to prove that I'm right?
• How will this person receive what I'm trying to say?
• Is there a better way to say this that will be more palatable to the hearer?

It has been said that God gave us two ears and one mouth because He expects us to listen twice as much as we speak. I don't know if that's true or not, but it makes a lot of sense. If we spend more time listening to one another and less time spouting off without first processing our thoughts and filtering our words, we would be on track for making this a more beautiful world.

Psalm 141:3 says, "Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips." Let this be our prayer every day.

Have a blessed week!

Pastor David