Watch Your Mouth! (Part 2)

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21)

Last June, I published a blog titled, Watch Your Mouth!, in which I discussed the ramifications of the controversy surrounding Paula Dean and some of the allegations made about things that she said. Today, I want to expand on this topic about the power of our words.

I watched an interesting movie last night, A Thousand Words, starring Eddie Murphy. The story revolves around the main character, Jack (played by Murphy), who is fast and careless with his words, regardless of who gets hurt in the process. Through a series of events, his karma gives him a tree which loses a leaf for every word that he speaks. With only a thousand words/leaves left before the tree dies (and Jack dies with it), Jack has to figure out how to use his remaining words to patch up relationships with his family and make peace with his past.

While the movie is primarily a comedy (it is Eddie Murphy, after all), it has a very poignant message which is brought about in the resolution to the story. Words matter; they have great power and should be used with great care. One of my favorite Bible passages is quoted above - short but packed with a powerful punch. Our words are capable of bringing about great healing or great damage. In my 30+ year career, I have rarely encountered trouble because of the quality of my work. When I am called on the carpet, invariably it is because of my mouth. As much as I try to temper my words and place a guard over my mouth, sooner or later I will blurt out something that is either sarcastic, blunt, or just plain inappropriate. In the process, not only do I hurt others, but I hurt myself as well. By speaking careless words, I end up developing a reputation as someone who is not easy to work with - a reputation not easily undone.

When people first get to know me, they are sometimes unsettled by how quiet I tend to be. After all, I am a classic introvert. Sometimes my quietness is seen as being aloof or uninterested, but mostly it's because I'm not one of those people who loves to hear the sound of their own voice. I would much rather listen to you talk about yourself than talk about myself. And don't even try to get me started on small talk. I HATE small talk. I'd rather not say anything at all than to talk about meaningless stuff just to fill the silence.

On the other hand, if you get me started on a topic about which I am deeply passionate, you may not be able to get a word in edgewise, let alone get me to shut up. But even then, I only speak because I believe I have something important to say. This is where I end up in trouble at times, because I tend to be too passionate about my work. I tend to take things personally if I feel they reflect on my abilities or the quality of my product, even if they have nothing to do with me. So I am trying very hard to step back and be more conscious of the triggers that push my buttons and tempt me to speak careless words.

Those who know me well know that I am usually a man of few words (I definitely take after my father in that regard). So when I do speak, it's usually because I have something important to say. Of course, this places an additional burden on me, because I know that people will weigh carefully what I say. So I must try to be extra careful in not only what I say, but how I say it. It is a sad truth that, the better we know someone, the easier it is for us to know exactly how to injure them with our words. When I know all of your weaknesses, your hot buttons, your insecurities, every word in my vocabulary can be turned into a well-honed dagger, ready to pierce your heart and soul. Likewise, my words can be used to provide comfort, encouragement and solace, creating a safe place for you to be yourself.

In the movie, Jack learns the value of his words and the lasting effect they have on the people he loves, and gets a second chance to get it right. We may not always get that second chance. Choose your words carefully. I know I will.

Have a blessed week!

Pastor David