On the Death of My Father

Then I heard a voice from heaven say, “Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.” “Yes,” says the Spirit, “they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them.” (Revelation 14:13)

My father passed away early Sunday evening, February 16, 2014. Even as I write these words, it seems somehow surreal to me that he is finally gone. This is the man who seemingly made a career out of cheating death. On numerous occasions throughout his 82 years on this earth, he stared death in the face and laughed. That's what my father did best - he laughed. He had a very hard life, but he always used humor to diffuse tension, put others at ease, or to numb his own pain. Good, bad or indifferent, I inherited that wit of his. I am rarely at a loss for a witty remark or a clever comeback, although there are times when my attempts at humor are not necessarily appreciated (that's another topic for another post). Even on his deathbed, hours before he would take his last breath, my father was still cracking jokes.

My father was largely uneducated, having only completed the 8th grade (I just learned at his funeral that he couldn't complete the 9th grade because his rural school burned down and they never rebuilt it). But he was an incredibly intelligent man. He read everything he could get his hands on, and absorbed information like a sponge. One of his favorite pastimes was working crossword puzzles - the harder the better. He stayed current on a wide variety of topics and was never at a loss for something to talk about. Oddly enough, his natural inclination for intelligence did not translate to a desire to see his children educated. After all, if he was able to get by on 8 years of schooling, surely we had no need for anything after high school.

As smart as my father was, he severely lacked business acumen. In fact, most of his business ventures ended up failing. But somehow he was able to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. What my dad lacked in business smarts, he made up for in sheer determination to be a good provider for his family. I will never really know just how hard he must have worked all those years to make sure we were comfortable. Unfortunately, the trade-off was never having a strong father-son bond with his kids, especially me and my younger brother; my three older brothers were born in rapid succession and had the benefit of a younger, healthier father who still had time to teach them how to ride bikes and hunt and fish and throw a ball. My father was 30 by the time I was born, and the weight of his family responsibilities were already heavy upon him. Most of my childhood memories of my father consist of him sleeping (he worked nights more often than not). My brothers had to teach me how to ride a bike. I never learned how to hunt or fish, and I still can't throw a ball to save my life.

My father loved the Lord, and he and my mother raised us with a healthy respect for the Christian faith. We were raised in an ultra-conservative church (I liken it more to a cult), but my parents leaned more toward the center. They didn't buy into a lot of the church's rules and regulations, but they put on a good show to keep the peace. My parents were far from perfect, and their parenting skills were uneven and unpredictable. But they did the best they could with what they had to work with. They instilled in us the value of hard work, integrity, honesty, and the worth of all people. My parents never exhibited any signs of racism, even though we were entrenched in a very "white" culture. They were equally comfortable around whites and non-whites, something that has stuck with me through the years. I have always embraced racial and ethnic diversity, thanks in part to my parents' ability to be color-blind.

Part of my father's lack of success in business was due partly to naivete and partly to placing too much trust in people who never earned it. More than once he lost everything to unscrupulous men who took advantage of my father's trusting nature. But God is good, and He always provided for our family. In spite of numerous financial setbacks over the years, my father was never tight-fisted. He had a spirit of generosity that permeated everything he did. Even though we never had much, no one ever left our table hungry, and my father literally gave the shirt off is back to anyone who needed it. My father was just as liberal with his time. He was never too busy to invest a minute or two in anyone who crossed his path. At his funeral, I was amazed at the dozens of people who commented how much he had meant to them and how he had touched their lives, just by being a friend. I honestly believe that my father never had an enemy.

As my father aged, and his health began to decline, he finally accepted his own mortality. In the last few years, after yet another brush with death, he started spending a lot of time telling me and my brothers how much he loved us. He started hugging me every time I went to visit him. Sadly, such physical and verbal displays of affection were missing when I was growing up. I am sure that my father knew that he would go to his grave with many regrets, but not telling his family how much he loved and cared for us wasn't going to be one of them.

As I sifted through a lifetime of possessions at my parents' house after the funeral last weekend, I uncovered an abundance of evidence of my father's love and devotion to my mother. They would have celebrated their 59th wedding anniversary this coming May. My parents always acted as if they merely tolerated each other, but it was just how they interacted (think Archie and Edith Bunker). I honestly believe that my father only hung on to life as long as he did, long after his body refused to cooperate, because of his love and concern for my mother. If he could have done so, he would have outlived my mother just so she would never have to spend a day without him. A love and devotion like that doesn't come along every day.

There are many other things I could say about my father, some too private to share, others that need more time to process. As I stated during his funeral while reading from his obituary, you can't sum up a person's life in a few paragraphs. Last August, I wrote a post about honoring our parents. Tonight, this is my tribute to my father. In spite of his faults and shortcomings, he was a pretty good dad.

Rest in peace, Dad. You earned it.

Your son,

David

Watch Your Mouth! (Part 2)

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21)

Last June, I published a blog titled, Watch Your Mouth!, in which I discussed the ramifications of the controversy surrounding Paula Dean and some of the allegations made about things that she said. Today, I want to expand on this topic about the power of our words.

I watched an interesting movie last night, A Thousand Words, starring Eddie Murphy. The story revolves around the main character, Jack (played by Murphy), who is fast and careless with his words, regardless of who gets hurt in the process. Through a series of events, his karma gives him a tree which loses a leaf for every word that he speaks. With only a thousand words/leaves left before the tree dies (and Jack dies with it), Jack has to figure out how to use his remaining words to patch up relationships with his family and make peace with his past.

While the movie is primarily a comedy (it is Eddie Murphy, after all), it has a very poignant message which is brought about in the resolution to the story. Words matter; they have great power and should be used with great care. One of my favorite Bible passages is quoted above - short but packed with a powerful punch. Our words are capable of bringing about great healing or great damage. In my 30+ year career, I have rarely encountered trouble because of the quality of my work. When I am called on the carpet, invariably it is because of my mouth. As much as I try to temper my words and place a guard over my mouth, sooner or later I will blurt out something that is either sarcastic, blunt, or just plain inappropriate. In the process, not only do I hurt others, but I hurt myself as well. By speaking careless words, I end up developing a reputation as someone who is not easy to work with - a reputation not easily undone.

When people first get to know me, they are sometimes unsettled by how quiet I tend to be. After all, I am a classic introvert. Sometimes my quietness is seen as being aloof or uninterested, but mostly it's because I'm not one of those people who loves to hear the sound of their own voice. I would much rather listen to you talk about yourself than talk about myself. And don't even try to get me started on small talk. I HATE small talk. I'd rather not say anything at all than to talk about meaningless stuff just to fill the silence.

On the other hand, if you get me started on a topic about which I am deeply passionate, you may not be able to get a word in edgewise, let alone get me to shut up. But even then, I only speak because I believe I have something important to say. This is where I end up in trouble at times, because I tend to be too passionate about my work. I tend to take things personally if I feel they reflect on my abilities or the quality of my product, even if they have nothing to do with me. So I am trying very hard to step back and be more conscious of the triggers that push my buttons and tempt me to speak careless words.

Those who know me well know that I am usually a man of few words (I definitely take after my father in that regard). So when I do speak, it's usually because I have something important to say. Of course, this places an additional burden on me, because I know that people will weigh carefully what I say. So I must try to be extra careful in not only what I say, but how I say it. It is a sad truth that, the better we know someone, the easier it is for us to know exactly how to injure them with our words. When I know all of your weaknesses, your hot buttons, your insecurities, every word in my vocabulary can be turned into a well-honed dagger, ready to pierce your heart and soul. Likewise, my words can be used to provide comfort, encouragement and solace, creating a safe place for you to be yourself.

In the movie, Jack learns the value of his words and the lasting effect they have on the people he loves, and gets a second chance to get it right. We may not always get that second chance. Choose your words carefully. I know I will.

Have a blessed week!

Pastor David

My Resolutions for 2014

Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them, saying:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Matthew 5:1-12)

I thought I would take a different approach to my New Year's post this year. In years past, I've used a perennial favorite, which was embedded in last year's post. But this year, I wanted to do something new, more organic, more practical. I was also thinking about the Sermon on the Mount that Jesus preached, and how these simple principles should permeate the believer's life. So here are my resolutions for 2014:

1.    I resolve to be poor in spirit, not full of myself, spiritually over-confident, or morally superior. I recognize that I am spiritually incomplete and inadequate, and that I am lacking in the qualities and characteristics that allow me to transcend the depravity of a fallen world. I am nothing in comparison with the God of the Universe, and all that I have to offer God is broken, dirty and repulsive. Thus, I will allow God to work within me to provide what I lack.

2.    I resolve to mourn, grieved by the things that grieve the Spirit of God. I will be moved with compassion for the downtrodden, the forsaken, the disadvantaged, the hurting people who desperately need comfort in a cold and unfeeling world.

3.    I resolve to be meek, not self-assertive or promoting my own self-interests. I will strive to foster a character of gentleness and humility. I don’t have to always be right, or be first. I will put people before principles.

4.    I resolve to be hungry and thirsty for righteousness, not following worthless rules and regulations that only have the appearance of righteousness, but fostering a life of right-living fashioned after the character of God as revealed in the person of Jesus Christ. I will seek to deepen my fellowship with God through His Holy Spirit through prayer, study and worship.

5.    I resolve to be merciful, setting aside my self-proclaimed right to be judge, jury and executioner of those who wrong me. I will be constantly mindful of the mercy that God extends to me on a daily basis, and extend the same level of mercy to those around me.

6.    I resolve to be pure in heart, being daily refined by the working of the Holy Spirit as He purges the impurities from my life. I will regularly reflect upon the holiness of God to see where I fall short, and submit myself to his refining fire, so that all who see me see the reflection of God.

7.    I resolve to be a peacemaker, embracing the true character of a child of God. I will attempt to be an agent of reconciliation and bridge-building in all of my associations. Rather than focusing on those things which divide us, I will accentuate those things which unite us, even when it means swallowing my pride or relinquishing my right to be “right”.

8.    I resolve to allow myself to be persecuted because of righteousness, not engaging in futile arguments with those whose values do not align with mine. I will not lash out at those who ridicule my beliefs or my relationship with Jesus Christ, but will love them to the best of my ability, knowing that my reward is not of this world. I will strive to do nothing that will bring reproach or shame upon the name of my Savior or to push away those who are seeking a relationship with Him.

Jesus taught His disciples that they would be blessed (literally "happy") if they aspired to these principles. I invite you to join me in seeking His blessing in this coming year by resolving to live a more beautiful life.

Have a safe, happy and prosperous New Year!

Pastor David

The People of Christmas, Part 4

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. (Luke 2:8-20)

(As a departure from the traditional Advent themes of Hope, Peace, Joy and Love, several years ago I did an Advent devotional series on the People of Christmas - The Prophets, Mary, Joseph, and the Shepherds. I will be sharing these devotions over these four Sundays leading up to Christmas.)

 

The Shepherds 

Like most of the other characters of the Christmas story, we don’t know much about the shepherds. We do know that shepherds were at the bottom of the social pecking order. They spent much of their time out in the fields surrounded by lots of smelly sheep, so they probably didn’t have the best hygiene, not to mention highly developed social skills. They were also probably not terribly well-educated either.

If it had been left to us, we probably would have made a few casting changes for the “Big Announcement” regarding the birth of the Messiah. We might have selected a few choice religious scholars who were well familiar with the prophecies of Scriptures and would surely recognize the signs announced by the angels. Perhaps we would have thrown in a few wealthy civic leaders who would ensure that the new King of the Jews had a great PR campaign. But we’re not God.

God chose the lowliest and most unlikely of people to be the first to receive the good news that a Savior was born. Perhaps it was to show the world that God was not impressed by social status, education, or credentials. Perhaps it was because the Messiah was sent to save the lost sheep of Israel. Or perhaps, it was because they shepherds were just simple enough to actually believe what the angels told them.

They didn’t sit around have a deep theological discussion as to whether the message they heard was accurate, or if it aligned with Scripture, or whether it was some sort of spiritual metaphor. In fact, the only thing they discussed was how quickly they could get to Bethlehem to see this amazing event they had been told about.

Once they had seen the baby for themselves, they didn’t hesitate to tell everyone they met about the incredible events they had witnessed. They didn’t stop to consider that they were ignorant, uneducated, smelly shepherds. They didn’t worry that they might not be qualified to spread such weighty news. I’m pretty sure they also really didn’t care if people thought they were a little wacko – spending too many lonely nights with those sheep, no doubt!

How about us? Are we so quick to tell others about this amazing person named Jesus, who came into the world to save us from our sins? Do we get tongue-tied, nervous and sweaty when we think about having to witness to people we don’t know? Are we afraid that we might not be qualified enough or have the right answers? Or are we simple enough just to take God at His word and excited enough to tell everyone about Jesus, regardless of what they might think about us?

Christmas is the perfect time of year for us to be able to inject Jesus into our conversations and introduce people to the man behind the holiday. After all, it’s all about His birthday, right?

Prayer:

God of all creation, thank you that you didn’t send the Christmas angels to important people of great standing and stature, but rather You chose to reach down to simple people like us. Give us the courage and conviction to tell everyone we meet about the real reason for our Christmas celebration. Amen.

Have a blessed week!

Pastor David 

The People of Christmas, Part 3

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” --which means, “God with us.”

 

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus. (Matthew 1:18-25)

(As a departure from the traditional Advent themes of Hope, Peace, Joy and Love, several years ago I did an Advent devotional series on the People of Christmas - The Prophets, Mary, Joseph, and the Shepherds. I will be sharing these devotions over these four Sundays leading up to Christmas.)

Joseph 

Not much is known about Joseph, other than a few scant details: he was a carpenter who lived in Nazareth, he was engaged to Mary, he was considered righteous, and he had several prophetic dreams. We can infer a few additional details from this passage: he was an honorable man who tried to do the right thing under difficult circumstances, he had a high level of integrity, and he was compassionate.

Faced with the potential scandal regarding Mary’s pregnancy, Joseph wanted to spare his fiancee public humiliation, not to mention, a public execution for adultery. Did Joseph love Mary? This may have been an arranged marriage, which was common in those days. Whether he loved her or not, he felt compassion for her instead of condemnation. Joseph understood the spirit of the law pre-empted the letter of the law. Indeed, he was a righteous man.

So it should not come as a great surprise that he was obedient to the instructions he received in his dream. The message probably sounded crazy to him; after all, how could a woman become pregnant by the Holy Spirit? And who exactly was this Holy Spirit? He’s only mentioned three times in the Jewish scriptures, so He wasn’t exactly a central theme in Judaism. And how could this baby boy save the Jews from their sins? Only God could forgive sins.

But rather asking a lot of questions, or trying to analyze this strange dream, Joseph simply did what he was told. He understood from Scriptures that God’s ways are not our ways. His faith in an unfailing God allowed him to take the risk of doing what flew in the face of conventional wisdom. Most others would have given up on Mary and dismissed her as an adulteress or a whore. Joseph chose to see her as an instrument of God.

We can learn a lot from Joseph’s quiet obedience. It’s interesting that there is not a single word of his recorded in Scripture. Many of us are big on words and little on action. Joseph’s actions spoke volumes; he didn’t need to say anything. When we are faced with difficult circumstances and choices, do we readily allow God to guide and instruct us? Or do we try to do things through our own human understanding?

As we continue to prepare for the celebration of Christ’s birth, let us remember the example of Joseph, an example of quiet obedience. It’s not important to announce to the world what God has told you to do. In the words of a popular sports slogan, “just do it.”

Prayer:

Lord, help us to develop obedient hearts and attitudes so we can do whatever it is that you ask of us. As we prepare for the celebration of the birth of your Son, and also for His imminent return, may we be found faithful and obedient servants, even when doing so may be unpopular or misunderstood. Amen.

Have a blessed week!

Pastor David 

The People of Christmas, Part 2

In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.”

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end.”

“How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”

The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.”

“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.” Then the angel left her. (Luke 1:26-28)

(As a departure from the traditional Advent themes of Hope, Peace, Joy and Love, several years ago I did an Advent devotional series on the People of Christmas - The Prophets, Mary, Joseph, and the Shepherds. I will be sharing these devotions over these four Sundays leading up to Christmas.)

Mary

The second person of the Christmas story is Mary. Mary was a quiet nobody living in obscurity, preparing to wed her fiancé Joseph. Being a young woman at that time, she was probably used to being told what to do, when to do it, and how. Yet, it seems somewhat strange that she didn’t appear to be too terribly concerned that an angel suddenly stood before and begin speaking with her, telling her what she was about to do.

Mary didn’t ask to be visited by an angel. She didn’t ask to become pregnant out of wedlock. And she certainly didn’t ask to be the mother of Jesus, the Savior of the world. But she submitted to God’s will for her life, and became the vessel through which salvation would come to her people as well as the Gentiles.

Mary could have protested. She could have made many excuses why she wasn’t the right girl for the job:

• She was too young
• She didn’t know enough Scriptures to be able to raise the Son of God properly
• Her father or her husband-to-be wouldn’t approve
• Townspeople would talk about this scandal
• No one would believe her if she told them an angel visited her

Maybe Mary was so awestruck by the appearance of the angel that she couldn’t think of anything else to say. Maybe she was too naive to consider the potential risks this situation might pose. Or maybe she was just a willing servant wanting to do whatever pleased her God.

Mary’s response was so simple. She said, “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said.” Do we always have such a humble attitude when God calls us to serve Him? Or do we resist and make excuses, or even worse, make false promises? Mary set the standard for all of us. May we follow her example and always respond to God, “I am your servant. May it be to me as you have said.”

Prayer:

Master of the Universe, may we be found submissive and yielding to Your call in our lives, and may we respond with humility and willingness to any task you set before us. Amen.

Have a blessed week!

Pastor David