"I
know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I
have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,
whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength."
Philippians 4:12-13
On Wednesday, November 14, 2012 I lost my job. No, I didn't misplace it. I was politely informed by the president of my company that my position had been eliminated and my services were no longer required. Just like that, I became a statistic and joined the ranks of the unemployed.
I was last unemployed in 1988, so it's been quite a long time since I had to look for work or be concerned about how I was going to pay my bills or put food on the table. In fact, I was recruited by my past two employers (including the one that just let me go), so I haven't even had to look for a job in 24 years.
Needless to say, my circumstances have changed dramatically since the last time I was jobless. In 1988, I was 26 years old, rented an apartment, owned a used vehicle for which I paid cash, and only had myself to be concerned about. Today, I am 50 years old, I own a home with a first AND second mortgage, drive a car that I just purchased last year with 42 more payments outstanding, and I have two additional mouths to feed. Plus, I have accumulated a lot more "stuff" and a lot more debt over these past 24 years. In a nutshell, my life is much more complicated now than it was in 1988.
The fact that I am 50 years old and have spent my entire professional career in banking doesn't exactly make my job prospects rosy. For starters, employers prefer to hire younger workers, not because they are better, but because they are cheaper. When you spend over 29 years in your profession, your salary tends to hit the high end of the spectrum. In addition, the entire banking industry continues to compress as more and more small community banks close or sell out to larger regional and national banks. It is estimated that up to 25% of the banks in operation at the beginning of the recession will have disappeared due to failure, merger or acquisition by the end of 2015. That's a lot of banks. And a lot of bankers losing their jobs and crowding the market looking for work.
I am coming to terms with the idea that I may never work in the banking industry again. The bulk of what I did was very specialized, and every bank only needs one of me, or does without the luxury of someone dedicated to those functions. The fact that I own a house that is currently under water due to the collapse of the real estate market means that I am not free to pick up and relocate to another part of the country where my job prospects might improve. Unfortunately, most of the jobs currently available that would provide a comparable salary require skills and/or education that I do not possess.
I was blessed to receive a reasonable severance package from my employer, so I have enough to live on between that and my savings for about 4 months. After that, I either will need to have a job that provides a decent income, or I will need to start pulling money out of my retirement (something that I really would rather not do for a multitude of reasons).
With all of that said, I see several options:
1) Go back to school and get the education and skills necessary to work in an industry that is stable and/or growing (how to pay for school and my living expenses in the interim remains an unknown);
2) Take any job I can find, which will probably mean that my income will not meet my expenses, and eventually my savings will run out and I either drain my retirement accounts or declare bankruptcy;
3) Start my own business (not sure exactly what, but it would have to have minimal start-up costs and be profitable within a year); or
4) Win the lottery, which is probably not going to happen (especially since I don't play)
I have been kicking around these options (well, the first three) with a few close friends for the past couple of weeks, and don't have any clear answers as of yet. I'd like to go back to school if I could figure out how to pay for it and still keep my home, but that would take at least two years just to get an associates degree, and then there still is no guarantee of employment at the end of the day. Whatever I do, I don't want to lose my home now that I have two dependents that I have to provide for. If it was just me, I could deal with a drastic lifestyle change. But I have to live someplace where my "kids" can have a comparable quality of life. If you're not a pet lover, you wouldn't understand, but that's okay - God still loves you. ;-)
The strange part about all this is, since the moment I was laid off, I have had an overwhelming sense of peace. I am not consumed with worry or fear about the future. I'm not obsessing about what will happen when the money runs out. I admit that I have had to fend off a spirit of discouragement, but I think God and I are winning that one. I am regularly reminded about Paul's confession in Philippians 4, and can relate all too easily. Before these past several years of plenty, I had many years of need. Yet no matter what my circumstances, God always provided what I needed and I was able to find contentment in them. And if God does not change, then I have no reason to expect that somehow He will fail me this time around.
What lies ahead? I don't know, but God does. My job for the moment is to be patient and wait on Him to unfold the next chapter of my life. There are so many more variables than what I have listed here - who knows what might happen just around the corner.
Normally, my blogs are supposed to provide something uplifting and encouraging for my readers, but today I just felt the need to express some of what I'm going through, more for me than for anyone else. But if you find any comfort or strength from what I have shared, then that is a bonus.
They say that as soon as you stop changing, you die, so I look forward to the changes that I will encounter in the coming weeks and months. I look forward to the surprises that God has prepared for me, waiting to delight me in ways my feeble human mind could never imagine. And I look forward to sharing these exciting events with you, my friends.
Have a blessed week!
Pastor David
